"Thinspiration." Apparently, there's this whole subculture devoted to helping anorexics become and stay anorexic. And Thinspiration is pictures of emaciated bodies for these women to aspire to.

That is some scary fucking shit. Tell me there's some way that this could help them heal.

It's me again. Listen, we're getting back into the Working Out Thing, and I thank you for letting me actually feel good enough to exercise again.

So here's the thing: we haven't gotten along well lately, and I realize that a lot of that is my fault. I put you through the ringer all the time, give you shit when you don't do what I want, and frankly, I've been a bad friend. So I call a truce. From now on, I will do my absolute best to:

Not weigh myself, ever ever ever. I want you to be healthy, not conform to some abstract number I've invented as my "goal."
Not try to hold you to one particular form of exercise. The best workout is the one you'll do, and I don't care what it is, as long as I'm doing *something* every day.
Enjoy every single minute of the chocolate croissant I treated you to this afternoon and not give myself one minute of grief about it.

In return, all I ask is that you keep working and doing all the great things that you do for me every day.

Your friend,

Dani.

from someone's OKCupid profile:

"I am plushly built because I am epicurean in my foodie desires."

Yes, this. Me too, sista.

My body has now, apparently, reached that incredibly annoying stage where it can't decide whether it wants to be a 12 or a 10. Several pairs of 10s I tried on were enormously over-tight, while two actually fit quite comfortably; meanwhile, all but a couple of pairs of 12s weren't falling-down loose.

The good news: more weight loss.
The bad news: it's incredibly time-consuming to find clothes now - especially jeans.

That said, there have been a couple of key purchases today, including a couple of very cute and capable-looking sweaters for fall, a gorgeous pair of tan and black houndstooth pants, and a pair of navy blue striped wide-leg trousers - in a size 10. And a new bra. A MUCH-NEEDED new bra. The girls are finally where they want to be, hooray!

So, it seems that phase three of the Dani Reshaping Program needs to involve a return to daily yoga. I'm smaller than I've been in literally years, I'm loving the shape of my body more than I have in years, but I am remarkably, appallingly, inflexible - and I think it's creeping into my mental life as well.

So, half an hour of yoga each morning is the ticket, methinks - just enough to get the day started on a good note, and not enough to make me feel like I've "done my workout" for the day. And who knows - maybe at some point I'll be able to bend myself in half again like I used to.

Yep. They fit.

Still an eensy bit tight, but totally breathable, only the most minor of muffin tops, and within a week they'll be perfect.

And my ass looks FABULOUS.

Go. Me.

that me at a size 14 is pretty damn sexy? Just sayin.

As one might expect given my Top Chef addiction, I watch quite a bit of Bravo - and normally, I'm all over it.

Except for that idiotic A-List Awards commercial, where the chick from the trainer show tells Kathy Griffin either "would it KILL you to get to a gym?" or "you really ought to work out," depending on the commercial.

Has anyone SEEN Kathy Griffin's body? We're talking six-pack, zero body fat, not a single jiggle on her and she's easily pushing 50. WHY did the idiots at Bravo think that this was an appropriate line for a commercial about making her the host of this show? FUCK YOU, BRAVO - for sending the message that even if you're skinny, you're too fat for some people.

All right - I will get off the body-image soapbox now.

edit: except to mention that Kathy also has a body that's just as good as, if not better than, the trainer chick. So there.

Today I wasn't able to get up at 7:15 as originally planned, but I did get up at 8:20, which was a far cry from the usual 9:30-10. I also started the day with yoga and a shower, which means that I feel much more relaxed and prepared for the day. I'm hoping that I can start inching the wakeup schedule earlier - if I can even get to waking up at 7:30, I'll be most pleased. For today, I celebrate waking up at 8:20, and being at the desk before 10.

A couple of body-improvement notes:

I have not lost a single pound (in fact, I'm up 2 pounds from where I started 2 months ago), but I am generally stronger and have more energy and stamina, which is a Good Thing.

I can now do pushups, and hold side plank without modifying - all signs that my arms are getting stronger. (note: I haven't been able to do either, like, ever.)

I think I now actually get Mula Bandha (the Root Lock in yoga) and the Navel Lock (some other kinda bandha).

In certain moods (as I proved Saturday night), I can actually do and hold handstand for about 30 seconds. This means that my core is stronger, and I'm getting the locks.

Morning Nudity Reports (and General Nudity Reports) have been much more favorable in recent weeks.

I have a thoroughly fabulous ass.

Now, for a couple of further notes:

I'm not near as flexible as I used to be - especially in the hips. Even if I do 20 minutes at the beginning and end of each day, I need to keep up the yoga.

I'm not losing as much fat as I'd like. I have to see if my insurance will cover a food sensitivity test to see if there's stuff that I should be avoiding. In the meantime, I have to launch a full-scale War Against Junk Food, one of my occasional weaknesses - but a weakness nonetheless. And I wouldn't be so annoyed with myself for it if I wasn't having some food that wasn't worth my time almost every day.

And there we go.